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Troubleshooter 15
To the IT Sector Account Manager, Ms Culvert, After a few postponements, inevitable when dealing with Nanoware UK’s MD, I finally got an afternoon with Irena Gretasdotter. I had made use of the time since our first meeting to put together a proposal, achieving astounding savings. It seemed entirely feasible, given the way that most activities are farmed out, to reduce the headcount from 300 to around 25. After all, the only function I had yet to discover for Nanoware staff was to give quotes to the press and to attend launch events. Irena listened politely to everything I said, but I couldn’t help noticing her broad grin. She even seemed to be suppressing a giggle. When I had finished she said “No, no, no.” In case I hadn’t quite got the point, she added “No.” I taped our conversation, and the best way I can relay her response is by transcribing her words. “There are plenty of technical reasons, but even if there weren’t, we need to be this big. Nanoware is the most important software company in the world. TVR Software has 250 staff in the UK, so we need more. Frankly, they could be dummies, as long as they were on the head count. Come to think of it…” At this point Ms Gretasdotter broke off for a moment, looking pensive. “Now, working from the assumption we’re going to be that size, we need an MIS department. Bearing in mind we’re controlled from the States (Jim likes to have a hand in everything), good networks are essential too. That accounts for ten staff. Equally, a building this size needs people to run it. Another 25 in total. As you’ve already pointed out, we need front-people for the press. We could manage with three, but we’ve got 30. Why? Because no-one understands who is responsible for what, so it’s easy to pass the buck. It also means we can match personalities to the job. You know, fun and dizzy to appear on a TV programme, or deadly boring to talk to PC Week. “There are five top managers, and five secretaries, plus 50 executives in the sales team. God knows why; after all, we expect our customers to come to us on bended knee, begging for the product. So that leaves getting on for 200 that we call consultants. I’ve no idea what they do, but as long as they don’t end up in court or in the tabloids, I don’t worry.” I was speechless. Almost. Why, then, had they brought in SMcTR? She explained that there was no intention of making grand savings. After all, Nanoware profits run into billions of dollars. The point was to establish some small, but satisfying areas where management could be seen to be taking action without rocking the boat. I agreed. It might seem criminal to miss such opportunities for savings, but it’s not for me to say. After all, I am a consultant. ... more Troubleshooter soon Copyright © Creativity
Unleashed Limited 2006 |
The Troubleshooter column relates the experiences of a fictional consultant. Although the context is made up, many of the experiences related in Troubleshooter have happened in real UK businesses. Take a break from the creative pressures with Troubleshooter and return to your creativity refreshed. Originally published in PC Week magazine.
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